Today Just Sucked

Ugh. There are days like this in the life of one broken legged girl that just seriously suck bigtime.

I woke up and as usual barely had the energy to get out of bed but i did. Big Mistake. I felt a little unsteady on my good foot for some reason. Went to the kitchen to make something to eat and lost my balance and fell headfirst into the stove. The only way to save my head from the top of the oven or uncertain death? Put weight and catch myself on one broken leg,. Pain shooting up leg. Fear. Adrenaline. Terror. It hurt, Not as bad as I expected it to but it hurt. I hope I didn't fuck it up. That was hours ago and it doesn't seem much worse than normal tonight.

I forgot to mention the other day that my toilet also overflowed. That is one of those things you don't think of when you agree to stay home alone most of the time with a broken leg. 1/4 inch of water on the floor, a cast, a walker and inability to bend over? Not a good combination. So I threw a bunch of towels around. soaked it all up but then what to do with the towels? not to mention the water that remains on the floor afterwards? Danger. That is seriously when you know life blows. At least there is an end for me. Eventually. It feels like its going to be forever away but there is an end. I found a great shopping bag that some Tampon people gave me at a mall during Christmas one year. I was able to take the towels to my washer and was able to get them washed and dryed.

Tonight? My back and neck just ache. After the whole kitchen debacale this morning i forgot to make coffee and now I am just in AGONY with a caffeine withdrawal headache. Its so painful. I didn't realize I forgot my coffee but I won't forget tomorrow. Why do you have to get a massive brain swelling headache before you remember? I did too much hobbling around today. After I have an event that makes me feel weak, like falling, i have to do things that make me feel stronger. So, I did the stairs twice today. Up and down, up and down. I do them on my butt when I am alone. I stood outside a drew in fresh air for a few minutes once I got to the bottom of the stairs. It was my first time doing the stairs alone and tyring to carry my crutches with me as well. The problem with this "evening out" strategy when i am having a weak moment is that it seems to make me a little weaker and more sore and tired. I have to start wearing a shoe on my good ankle every day now because I think its just getting tired of bearing all my weight all the time. I have mostly of course, just gone barefoot. But it feels weird and tired and I thnk the shoe helps a little in adding some balance.

I have been coloring to ease the stress. Yes coloring. Like babies do. It chills me out. I know it sounds fucked up but it really has a relaxing effect. I printed off all these Hello Kitty Coloring pages off the internet and ordered crayons with my grocery delivery (yes they deliver fucking crayons). It makes me stop thinking about how bad my neck hurts and falling and broken bones and all.

I gotta go. I am beat.